The Star Wars INSANE Talk Show
by Oribella
Summary: Come and join me as I poke fun at Anakin, Yoda, Obi Wan, and all our favorite Star Wars Characters!
1. Leia

Chapter 1 Leia

"Welcome to the Star Wars Talk show!" The Announcer welcomed, "Today on our show is Leia!"

The crowd cheered.

"So Leia," the Host began, "Does it bother you that people call you bun head?

Leia blinked, "They call me bun head?"

"I'm sure that must be painful."

"They call me bun head!"

The Host: eyed Leia's hair hungrily, "Hey if I put butter on these will they taste like cresent rolls?"

"THEY CALL ME BUN HEAD!"

The Host began to pours butter on Leia's hair.

"Hey!" she exclaimed, "What are you doing? HEY!"

The Host Took a bite of Leia's hair, licking her lips in delight.

"Hey! Stop that! AAAAH!" Leia screamed, "MY HAIR!"

The Host gasped, "THEY DO TASTE LIKE CRESENT ROLLS!"

Leia rans off the stage screaming as she did, "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

"Hey! Come back!" the Host shouted after her, "I want to try frosting!

_Authore's Note: 100 insanity. All chapters are short and sweet:) Enjoy yourself as I poke fun at our favorite Star Wars characters! (For those of you who have already read this, I had to resubmit it)_


	2. General Grievous

Chapter 2 General Grievous

"Welcome to the Star Wars Talk show!" The Announcer welcomed, "Today on our show is Grievous!"

The crowd cheered.

"So Greivous," the Host began, "How is your cigarette addiction going?"

"I don't have a cigarette addiction!" Grievous objected, with a cough following.

The Host rolled her eyes, "Right... So are the patches working?"

"I told you I don't smoke! (cough) (cough)" he insisted

"Does it bother you that you look like a giant lizard bug?"

"What? (cough) (cough)"

"So how are your children?"

"I don't have children! (cough) (cough)"

"Yes you do! You and Shaak Ti got together!"

" No we didn't! (cough) (cough)"

"Yes you did!"

"No we didn't! (cough)"

"Yes you did!"

"No we didn't! (cough)"

"Yes you did!"

"That's it!" Grievous declared, "I can't take all this stress! I'm going to go have a smoke.."

"HA! See? I told you! I told you!"


	3. Mace Windu

Chapter 3 Mace Windu

"Welcome to the Star Wars Talk show!" The Announcer welcomed, "Today on our show is Mace!"

The crowd cheered.

"So baldy," the host begna, "Can I call you baldy?

"No." Mace said plainly.

"Uh okay..."

"You can call me Master Windu."

The Host scoffed, "As if."

Mace glared.

"So Mace," she continued, "Does it bother the other Jedi that you put cheese in your pants?"

"What! I don't put cheese in my pants!" Mace protested.

"Doesn't that feel unconfortable?"

"I don't put cheese in my pants!"

"And doesn't it smell?"

"I DON'T PUT CHEESE IN MY PANTS!"

"Oh yeah? Drop your pants and prove it!"

"No!"

"Ah ha!" the host declared, "You're hiding the evidence!" the host declared.

"That's it! How do I get out of here?"

"Hey! Come back here!" the host ordered, "I know you put cheese in your pants! I know it! I know it! I know it!"


	4. Count Dooku

Chapter 4 Count Dooku

"Welcome to the Star Wars Talk show!" The Announcer welcomed, "Today on our show is Count Dooku!"

The crowd cheered.

"So Dooku," the Host began, "Does it bother you that you're cross eyed?

"I'm not cross eyed!" he said in a huff.

"Yes you are!"

"No I am not! I am safisticated!"

"Right..." the Host lifted an eyebrow So can I see your belly ring?"

"My what?"

"How often do you belly dance anyways?" the Host asked.

"I don't belly dance! I'm too skinny for that sort of thing!"

"Too skinny? Yeah right!" she scoffed poking Dooku's stomach, "I mean geez! When are you due?"

"This is insulting! I'm leaving!"

"Be carefull on the way out!" she called after him, "I'm mean in your condition-"

"SHUT UP!"

The Host snickered.


	5. Luke Skywalker

Chapter 5 Luke Skywalker

"Welcome to the Star Wars Talk show!" The Announcer welcomed, "Today on our show is Luke Skywalker!"

The crowd cheered.

"So how do you feel about killing Yoda in episode 6?" the Host started.

"What?" Luke said confused, "I didn't kill him!

"Oh come on! Everyone knows you forgot to give him his heart pills!"

"I don't know what your talking about!" Luke insisted

The Host got right up in Luke's face. Her eyes narrowed, "Ya know, I don't like you."

"Wh-what?"

"You're ugly! And whiney! And annoying!" she went on, "How dare you annoy an old man to death! Don't you know old people need their sleep!"

"Huh?"

"You ought to be ashamed of yourself!" she said waging a finger at him.

"B-but I didn't-"

"GET OUT OF HERE!" she cut him off.

"B-but-"

The Host's lightsaber buzzed to life, a killer look in her eyes, "GET OFF OF MY TALK SHOW!"

Luke ran for his life, "WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!"

The Host smirked "Hee hee hee..."


	6. Anakin Skywalker

Chapter 6 Anakin Skywalker

"Welcome to the Star Wars Talk show!" The Announcer welcomed, "Today on our show is Anakin Skywalker!"

The crowd cheered.

"So Anakin," the Host began, "Why do you fart so much?"

"Why do I fart so much!" Anakin repeated.

"That's what I asked."

"I don't fart! Jedi never fart!

The Host's eyes enlarged, "Really?"

"Yeah!"

"Gee.. You must get awfully bloated.."

"Well uh, that is, I mean-"

"What happens after you eat beans?" she questioned.

His forehead broke out into beads of sweat, "Well I uh-"

"That must be horrible!"

"I uh... Oh boy.. I don't feel so good.." (FART!)

The stench from Ankakin's butt was so overwhelming th Host fainted.

Our host will be revived in the next Chapter. Thank you. P.S. Don't try to hold back a fart after you eat beans. If people would just admitt they fart the world would be a better place. Thank you.


	7. ObiWan

Chapter 7 Obi-Wan

"Welcome to the Star Wars Talk show!" The Announcer welcomed, "Today on our show is Obi-Wan!"

The crowd cheered.

"So Obi-Wan," the Host began, "How exactly did you feel when Anakin turned to the dark side?"

"It was tragic. He, he was like a brother to me. (sniff)"

The Host passed him some tissues.

"Thank you. (blow)"

"Let's take this to a lighter note."

"Ok."

"So, do you prefere boxers or briefs?"

Obi-Wan's face turned beet red, "What kind of a question is that!"

The Host slapped on an innocent smile, "Just curious."

"Well I'm not going to answere you!"

The Host chuckled, "I like you Obi!"

He raised an eyebrow, "O-Ok"

She leaned foreward, "You and your friendly beard!"

"Me and my... what?"

"Ah, friendly beard... "she said happily, tuigging on Obi Wan's beard.

"OW! Stop that! Ouch! That hurts! I'm warning you!"

"Friendly beard! (tug) Friendly beard! (tug)"

"All right you've left me no choice!"

"What? I just want to tug on your friendly beard!"

"You don't want to tug on my beard."

The Host blinked twice, "I don't want to tug on your beard..."

"You want to get some psyreactic help."

"I want to get some psyreactic help... " she said, walking off stage.

Obi-Wan grinned widely, "Oh yeah, I still got it!"

_Authore's Note: The friendly beard thing is an inside joke between me and my sister. :D_


	8. Darth Sidous

Chapter 8 Darth Sidous

"Welcome to the Star Wars Talk show!" The Announcer welcomed, "Today on our show is Darth Sidous!"

The crowd cheered.

"So Darth Sidous," the host began, "What are your intentions?

"To rule the galaxy!" Sidous answered, "MWHAHAHAHA!"

"Not happening..."

"Why not?" he asked confused.

"Because you're not evil enough!"

"I'm not?"

"No! You are such a coward!"

"How _dare_ you insult me! Soon I will be the emperor of the galaxy! And all shall bow before me and know my name! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

"Lumpy mashed potato face..."

"What?"

"You have a lumpy mashed potato face!" the Host pointed out, "How do you expect to rule the galaxy looking like that?"

"You will not stop me! I will rule the galaxy!"

"Are you even listening to me?"

"I will be all powerful!"

"Ah ha... " the Host leaned back in her chair, "And how does that make you feel?"

"What?"

"How does that make you feel?"

"Powerful!"

"How does _that _make you feel?"

"POWERFUL!" he shouted, frustrated

"And why must you have power?"

"Because.. Because..."

"Come on," she coxed, "let it out."

(sniff) "Because of my Daddy! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

"Why don't you tell me about it.."

Darth Sidous: leaned back in his chair, "When I was thirteen I wore braces.."

"That's the way, we'll get to the bottom of this."

He sniffled. She handed Sidous a tissue.

(Sniff) "Thank you.."

She Grinned evily.


	9. Aayla Secura

Chapter 9 Aayla Secura

"Welcome to the Star Wars Talk show!" The Announcer welcomed, "Today on our show is Aayla Secura!"

The crowd cheered.

"So Aayla," the Host began, "What's you favorite color?

"It's-"

"I bet it's blue right?" The Host cut her off

"Well-"

"Hey! What's your favorite food?" the Host went on.

"Well I like-"

"I bet it's blue cheese! Right? Right?" the Host questioned, leaning toward her, a strange phyco look in her eyes.

"Actually-"

"Hey, hey! What's your favorite song?"

"I-"

"I bet it's "Blue" Hahahaha!"

"YA KNOW JUST BECAUSE I'M BLUE DOESN'T MEAN MY LIFE REVOLVES AROUND IT!" Aayla snapped.

The Host grinned, "Your blue? Are you sad?"

"YOU KNOW WHAT I MEANT!"

"Alright, alright. So what _is_ your favorite color?"

Aayla: was silent.

"Well?"

"Blue..."

The Host fell off her chair and onto her back, "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"


	10. Boba Fett

Chapter 10 Boba Fett

"Welcome to the Star Wars Talk show!" The Announcer welcomed, "Today on our show is Boba Fett!"

The crowd cheered.

"So Buba Fat-"

"It's _Boba Fett_!" Boba Fett cut her off.

"Right... So Buba Fat-"

"It's _BOBA FETT_!" he interupted again.

"So Buba Fat-"

"WOULD YOU STOP IT!"

"So Buba-"

He sighed in defeat, "Close enough.."

"So Buba," she began, "I hear you have a new CD coming out?"

"Yeah! It's called, "Plants are scary"

"And what was your inspiration for this title?"

Boba Fett shifted in his chair uneasily, "N-nothing..."

She grinned evily, "You wouldn't happen to be _afraid _of plants would you?"

"N-no! Of course not!"

"Good!" The Host said, reaching behind her chair, "Because I'd like you to meet Harold the friendly Venus Fly Trap!

"EEEK!" he shrieked, standing on arm of his chair, "Keep it away from me!"

Her evil grin widened, "Aw, what's the matter?" she asked, bringing the plant closer to Boba Fett,"Don't you like Harold?"

"No! No! Keep it away!"

"But he's a friendly plant! He loves you!"

"SHE'S INSANE! GET ME OUT OF HERE!" he screamed.

"Come on Buba! How about you guys be friends!"

" AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! he screamed jumping out a window.

The Host didn't move, she was too shocked, she just sat there and blinked.


	11. Chewbacca

Chapter 11 Chewbacca

"Welcome to the Star Wars Talk show!" The Announcer welcomed, "Today on our show is Chewbacca!"

The crowd cheered.

"So Chewbacca, how are you?'" The Host asked.

"Roar." was his reply.

"Ah, I see, you would like to confess something?"

Chewbacca roared and shook his head.

She gasped, "You _are _big foot!"

Chewbacca roared a little louder and shook his head harder.

"YOU _ARE_!"

Chewbacca roared and shook his head violently.

"I knew it! I knew it all along!"

Chewbacca shook his head voilently, roaring frustrated.

"What's that?"

He stopped, "Roar?"

"Timmy fell down the old well?"

"Roar?"

"What's that? You have fleas?"

Chewbacca growled.

"Yeah, you look infested!"

Chewbacca broke a leg off of his chair, tapping it against his hand like a black jack. The Host eyes widened. Chewbacca attacked.

"AK! NO! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"


	12. Master Yoda

Chapter 12 Master Yoda

"Welcome to the Star Wars Talk show!" The Announcer welcomed, "Today on our show is Master Yoda!"

The crowd cheered.

"So Yoda," the Host began, "how's it hanging?"

"Understand you I do not. Teenager I do not speak."

"What's happening?"

"Not much."

"Hahahahaha!" the Host laughed, for no apparent reason. "You little greeny! You're such a kidder!" she said pushing Yoda causing him to fall off of his chair.

"Ack!"

"So Yoda, Yoda?"

"What?" he asked looking up at her.

"Hey where are you?"

"Here I am." he answered.

"Yoda? Yoda! Where are you!"

"Here I am!" he answered again.

"Yoda!" she shouted.

"Ow! Stepping on me you are!"

"Yoda! Yoda!" she whistled, "Here boy!"

Yoda Climbed on the arm of chair, "HERE I AM!"

"Oh! There you are!"

Annoyence was writen all over his face.

The Host Patted Yoda on the head, "Good boy!"

"Doing that, why are you? A dog I am not!"

"Aw, your a good boy! Here!" she smiled, holding up a doggied bisquit, "Get the snack!"

"Kidding you must be..."

"Come on! Up! Up! Beg!"

"Beg I will not! Insane you must be!"

"That's a good boy!' she continued iggnoring his words, "Now roll over!"

"Insane you _are_!"

"That's a good boy!" she said, petting Yoda like a dog.

"STOP PETTING ME!"

"Aw aren't you the sweetest little thing!" she said, squishing Yoda's cheeks together.

"That's it! Getting out of here I am!" he ran for it.

"That's it!" she called after him, "Go get the stick!"

"INSANE YOU ARE!" he shouted back to her.

_Authore's Note: This part chapter was extra insane because Yoda is my favorite Character. :) _


	13. Jango Fett

Chapter 13 Jango Fett

"Welcome to the Star Wars Talk show!" The Announcer welcomed, "Today on our show is Jango Fett!"

The crowd cheered.

"So Jango Fett ," the Host began, "how are you?"

"Hi, Mom!"

"Ah... ok.."

"Hi, everyone!" he said sticking his face in the camera.

"So what do you have for us today?"

"I brought a joke book!"

"You did?"

"Yup! Here, I'll read it to you!"

"No you don't have-"

"Where does Jabba the Hutt eat?"

"I don't know."

"Pizza Hutt!"

"Uh..."

"Here's another one! Why did Luke get a ticket?"

"Ok..."

"He was caught Skywalking! HAHAHAHAHA!"

"That's really lame man..."

"Here's another one!"

"HEY YOUR NOT SUPPOST TO BE FUNNIER THAN ME!"

"Why is Han Solo a loner? Because he's solo! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

"ARE YOU LISTENING TO ME!"

"Here's another one! Why did Jango Fett write himself out of Star Wars? Because he was**_ Fett _**up! ...HEY! THAT ONE'S ABOUT ME!"

The Host reached over and grabbed Jango by the collar, "HEY! THIS IS MY SHOW! YOU GOT THAT!"

"Well?"

"Here's another one about-"

"OH SHUT UP!" The Host saiding smacking Jango over the head with a board.

_Authores Note: I know there's some people I haven't done yet like Padme, Kit Fisto, Shaak Ti, and so forth but if I haven't done someone and you want me to do them, please mention it in the reviews._


	14. Shaak Ti

Chapter 14 Shaak Ti

"Welcome to the Star Wars Talk show!" The Announcer welcomed, "Today on our show is Shaak Ti!"

The crowd cheered.

"So Shaak Ti," the Host began, "How is your relashionship with General Grieious going?"

She blushed, "I-I don't know what your talking about!"

"Oh come on," the Host went on giving Shaak Ti a little nudge with her elbow and winking "You know what I'm talking about!"

"No, I seriously don't!"

"Oh, come on you-"

"DIEEEEE!" a voice shouted.

Shaak Ti and the Host looked from where the voice came from. They spotted a deranged looking Star Wars obsessed geek with a plastic lightsaber.

The Host cringed, "Um, can I help you?"

"YOU STAY AWAY FROM SHAAK TI, YOU MONSTER!" he shouted.

The host blinked confused, "Uh, how did you even get in here?"

The geek jumped up to Shaak Ti glomping her, "My precious! No one will take you from me, no..."

"EEEK! GET OFF OF ME!" She shrieked.

The geek turned to the Host with a look that could kill in his eyes,"DIE! DIE! DIE!" he shouted at her, pointing the phoney green lightsaber at the host, jabbing her.

"Yeah, um you seriously need help." the Host stood and pulled out a blue lightsaber. Using the real lightsaber she chopped the fake one in half, and the geek,"Well that's settled," she said blowing off her lightsaber, "That kid seriously needs help. Now as I was saying... Shaak Ti?"

When she turned to Shaak Ti, she had a look of pure horror on her face.

"Oops, uh... I think I tramatized her."

_Authore's Note: I know Shaak Ti wouldn't be tramatized, she does this sort of thing all the time. But you readers have to look at it this way, THEY'RE NOT REAL! Oh sure, the characters are cool but, THEY DON'T REALLY EXIST! So don't get all bent out of shape if I insult them or make them OOC. They're not real and this is a fanfic anyways, it's not an official story so stop getting your panties in a bunch over them! Geez, that is really stared to annoy me. At first I just shook it off, hey everyone's entitled to their oppinions, but now you guys are just coming off as pathetic (not encluding the people who like this or who don't like it and at least have the decency to not comment) So get over it._

_This Chapter has been dedicated to G4man, take that you cock sucker! Nah, seriously though, you're really pathetic. But thanks for the idea:D No hard feelings :)_


	15. Darth Vader

Chapter 15 Darth Vader

"Welcome to the Star Wars Talk show!" The Announcer welcomed, "Today on our show is Darth Vader!"

The crowd cheered.

"So, Vada', what up, bro?" the Host asked knocking knuckles with the evil Sith lord.

"Nothin' much sista' I've just been destroying things with my possy, yo."

"That's off the hook!" the Host commented.

"Word." Vader agreed putting up a yo sign.

"So are things working good for you?"

"Frshizal!" Vader smiled, "No little Jedi is going to cramp my style! Know what I'm talkin' about?"

"Word." The Host smiled, "Is there anything you would like to say to our viewers?"

Vader stood, pointing a dramatic finger at the camera. "COME TO THE DARK SIDE!" he demanded. His evil figure faded as he held up a cookie sheet, "We have cookies!"

"Sweet!" The Host said drooling over the cookies.

Vader pointed at the host, smiling slyly, "Word to your mother."

_Authore's Note: Just imagining Darth Vader talking like that with his dark voice cracks me up! LOL_


	16. Palpatine

Chapter 16 Palpatine

"Welcome to the Star Wars Talk show!" The Announcer welcomed, "Today on our show is Palpatine!"

The crowd cheered.

"Ladies and Gentlemen, we have a special treat tonight, Palpatine, is going to performing for us ALL BY HIMSELF! Give it up for PALPY!" the Host introduced.

Everything was dark, then a curtain rose, a dark figure could be seen in a genie position the backround music played, "Ladies up in here tonight! No fightin', no fightin'! We got the refugees up in here! No fightin', no fightin'! Shakira, Shakira!"

Suddenly a bright spotlight shone directly on Palpatine who was dressed in a grass skirt that let his gut hang over it and coconut bra over his man boobs.

He began to belly dance as a backround singer sang, "I never really knew that she could dance like this! She makes a man want to speak Spanish! _Como se llama, bonita, mi casa, su casa! _Shakira, Shakira!"

As Palpatine continued to dance he began to sing in a horrible high pitched imitation of a female voice.

"Oh baby when you talk like that, you make a woman go mad, so be wise and keep on," he thumped his hip and down to the beat of the drum, "Reading the signs of my body" from there he began to do a gay little dance, "I'm on tonight! You know my hips don't lie and I'm starting to feel it's right! All the attraction, the tension! Don't you see baby, this is perfection!"

As the backround singer sang, he put his hands in his hair ruffling it, "Hey Girl, I can see your body movin'! And it's driving me crazy!

And I didn't have the slightest idea, until I saw you dancin'!" as the singer went on he smiled goofily and did the hoola hoo. "And when you walk up on the dance floor, nobody cannot ignore the way you move your body, girl! And everything so unexpected - the way you right and left it!" he shook his butt wildly, "So you can keep on shaking it!"

Another backround singer sang,"I never really knew that she could dance like this! She makes a man want to speak Spanish! _Como se llama, bonita, mi casa, su casa! _Shakira, Shakira!"

Paplatine began to sing again his voice even higher, "Oh baby when you talk like that, you make a woman go mad! So be wise and keep on, reading the signs of my body!" his voice cracked on the chorus, "And I'm on tonight! You know my hips don't lie and I am starting to feel you boy! Come on lets go, real slow.. Don't you see baby _asi es perfecto_!"

He began to belly dance again, "Oh I won't deny my hips don't lie, and I am starting to feel it's right! All the attraction, the tension!

Don't you see baby, this is perfection!"

"Shakira, Shakira" the backround guy sang.

"Oh boy, I can see your body moving! Half animal, half man! I don't, don't really know what I'm doing, but you seem to have a plan! My will and self restraint, have come to fail now, fail now! See, I am doing what I can, but I can't so you know! That's a bit too hard to explain!"

Backround singer ripped out, "_Baila en la calle de noche! Baila en la calle del dia! Baila en la calle de noche! Baila en la calle del dia! _I never really knew that she could dance like this! She makes a man want to speak Spanish! _Como se llama, bonita, mi casa, su casa_!"

"Shakira, Shakira!"

Palpatine sang, "Oh baby when you talk like that!

You know you got me hypnotized!

So be wise and keep on!

Reading the signs of my body!" With one last thump of the hip Palpatine was done!

The crowed was quiet. You could hear crickets!

"What did you think!" Palpatine asked.

The Host stared off into the difference in shock.

Palpatine waved his hand in front of the Host's, "Hello?"  
_THUMP! _She fainted.

**_DISCLAMER! I DO NOT OWN STAR WARS OR THE SONG "HIPS DON'T LIE" by Shakira!_**

_Original._

_**Hips Don't Lie**_

_Ladies up in here tonight_

_No fightin', no fightin'_

_We got the refugees up in here_

_No fightin', no fightin'_

_Shakira, Shakira_

_I never really knew that she could dance like this_

_She makes a man want to speak Spanish_

_Como se llama, bonita, mi casa, su casa_

_Shakira, Shakira_

_Oh baby when you talk like that_

_You make a woman go mad_

_So be wise and keep on_

_Reading the signs of my body_

_I'm on tonight_

_You know my hips don't lie_

_And I'm starting to feel it's right_

_All the attraction, the tension_

_Don't you see baby, this is perfection_

_Hey Girl, I can see your body movin'_

_And it's driving me crazy_

_And I didn't have the slightest idea_

_Until I saw you dancin'_

_And when you walk up on the dance floor_

_Nobody cannot ignore the way you move your body, girl_

_And everything so unexpected - the way you right and left it_

_So you can keep on shaking it_

_I never really knew that she could dance like this_

_She makes a man want to speak Spanish_

_Como se llama, bonita, mi casa, su casa_

_Shakira, Shakira_

_Oh baby when you talk like that_

_You make a woman go mad_

_So be wise and keep on_

_Reading the signs of my body_

_And I'm on tonight_

_You know my hips don't lie_

_And I am starting to feel you boy_

_Come on lets go, real slow_

_Don't you see baby asi es perfecto_

_Oh I won't deny my hips don't lie_

_And I am starting to feel it's right_

_All the attraction, the tension_

_Don't you see baby, this is perfection_

_Shakira, Shakira_

_Oh boy, I can see your body moving_

_Half animal, half man_

_I don't, don't really know what I'm doing_

_But you seem to have a plan_

_My will and self restraint_

_Have come to fail now, fail now_

_See, I am doing what I can, but I can't so you know_

_That's a bit too hard to explain_

_Baila en la calle de noche_

_Baila en la calle del dia_

_Baila en la calle de noche_

_Baila en la calle del dia_

_I never really knew that she could dance like this_

_She makes a man want to speak Spanish_

_Como se llama, bonita, mi casa, su casa_

_Shakira, Shakira_

_Oh baby when you talk like that_

_You know you got me hypnotized_

_So be wise and keep on_

_Reading the signs of my body_

_Senorita, feel the conga, let me see you move like you come from Colombia_

_Mira en Barranquilla se baila asi, say it!_

_Mira en Barranquilla se baila asi_

_Yeah_

_She's so sexy every man's fantasy a refugee like me back with the Fugees from a 3rd world country_

_I go back like when 'pac carried crates for Humpty Humpty_

_I need a whole club dizzy_

_Why the CIA wanna watch us? Shakira/Wyclef Jean_

_Colombians and Haitians_

_I ain't guilty, it's a musical transaction_

_No more do we snatch ropes_

_Refugees run the seas 'cause we own our own boats_

_I'm on tonight, my hips don't lie_

_And I'm starting to feel you boy_

_Come on let's go, real slow_

_Baby, like this is perfecto_

_Oh, you know I won't deny and my hips don't lie_

_And I am starting to feel it's right_

_The attraction, the tension_

_Baby, like this is perfection_

_No fightin'_

_No fightin'_

_-**Shakira**_


	17. Jubba The Hutt

Chapter 17 Jubba The Hut

"Welcome to the Star Wars Talk show!" The Announcer welcomed, "Today on our show is Jubba The Hut!"

The crowd cheered.

"Hey there Jubby, how are things going for ya?" the host asked.

Jubba answered, "HDjd jsuanf kshgks jfvnks lsdjngkdnl dfgbjsdb kjhsjbsbvjdb sooso cocka doodle doo waga naga wiga piggy," translated this is, "I like cheese,"

"Uh so do I," the host smiled, "So how have things been going?"

Jubba answered, "Froggy doggy doo sniggy flumba wumba doo wop doo wop loba doba ding dong flickpa shingernizle veanersnitzel," translated this is, "Cheese,"

The host started to grow impatient, "What about cheese?" she growled.

Jubba answered, "Gogo boots-" translated this is, "When I was a lad of 16, no seemed to like me, everyone at school would make fun of my name and say, "Look! Here comes Pizza Hut!" naturally millions of alliens would run to me and order pizza with anchovies. I was disgusted! I hate anchovies! No one ever seemed to want to be my friend, they all called me the weird, goopy, space worm. Even when I would lick them with my delicate tongue, to try to ensure friendship, they still rejected me! That makes me recal the time when I started potty training-"

"ENOUGH!" the host shouted enraged, "WHY DON'T YOU JUST ANSWERE THE QUESTIONS I GIVE YOU!"

He was silent for a moment then answered, "weewee peepee," wich is translated, "I have to go to the potty,"

The host twitched, "ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

_Author's Note: Yes, It's very random. lol_


	18. Kit Fisto

Chapter 18 Kit Fisto

"Welcome to the Star Wars Talk show!" The Announcer welcomed, "Today on our show is Kit Fisto!"

The crowd cheered.

The host and Kit Fisto starred at each other for a moment. After a long awkward pause Kit Fitsto broke the silence, "Uh...aren't you going to ask me something?"

"You look like a squid..." the host remarked.

"Uh-"

"You look like Medusa.."

"All right that's-"

"You look like a booger..."

"HEY!"

"You look like-" Kit Fisto slapped a hand over the hosts mouth. "All right! That's enough! I don't have to take this ya know?!"

The host grinned, "What? Are you going to hit me with your FIST? OH that would be terrible! Hahaha!"

"You're boring the audience."

"Oh, I'm sorry. I thought you were going to bring your KIT!" the host laughed hysterically.

"Now listen you-"

"You look like green spaghetti..."

"ALL RIGHT! THAT'S IT!" Kit grabbed his hat and walked off the stage.

"Hehehe. I love my job.."

_Author's Note: A bit weaker than the others._


End file.
